[A quick note...I asked my mother for permission to read a small message at my grandmother's funeral the day before at the wake. Within earshot when I asked were my mother's siblings, my Aunt Fran and my Uncle Jim. Both extracted oaths from me that I would not blaspheme or pull funny "masonry shit" (I am, in fact, a freemason). I have a reputation of being irreverent, yes, but I ascended the dais the next day without thunder or lightning, and this is what I read.]
My grandmother’s given name was Bertha. She didn’t like it;
she chose to be called ‘Lena’, instead, and fought tooth and nail with her
mother over it. She wanted the name because it sounded more American. She was
proud to be an American, and she wanted to live like one, without any airs of
the old world that her family might press on her. The name stuck.
The story may be utterly false, or at least warped into
legend over time. I don’t care. It fits her, because she was stubborn.
When Lena was a teenager, her mother insisted she meet, and
consider marrying, a young lawyer of Polish extraction. Lena would have none of
it. When her family welcomed him through the front door of their house, she ran
out the back, perhaps into the orchards nearby.
It was in those orchards that she would climb a tripod ladder
– ostensibly to pick fruit – but also to get a look at that handsome young Anthony
Domachowski. There are 33 people who are alive on the planet today because of
her stubbornness – from Frances Gocek all the way down to Elle James Anderson.
We’re all grateful.
I cannot think of a more perfect and loving couple. Maybe she
drove grandpa crazy, but she was crazy about him. Grandma said that long after
Grandpa died she still talked to him aloud, or wrote letters to him and took
them outside to burn, as if the smoke would carry her message to him.
Grandma was always giving – not just of money or gifts, but
of herself. These stories she told me, are a gift; so were her hugs, calling
all of her children her “million dollars”. She really felt that. And she was
that rich because she gave everything she had. She got so much back in life
because she gave so much. You’re all here right now because of that.
This is how we live forever – by selflessly touching so many
other lives that your soul lives on through them.
Grandpa, you have lived on this way. Grandma has returned to
you. We will keep you both in our hearts, through all that you have given us, done
for us, and taught us.
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